Sunday, May 13, 2007

Overthinking It

When you think as much as I do, it is so difficult to not think. Just put things in your mouth, just walk around the neighborhood, just watch tv. Everything is fairly planned out. Incredibly intentional. And moments that are unintentional, that are done with little thought, generally cause regret. "Why did I do that!" "Boy I wasted time there." "What a waste of money!"

Some people regret eating things, usually because of the quantity. Or the contents. I regret eating things that I really didn't want and the fact that there was something I wanted more. Or I could've had something even better. So I live in fear that what I am eating, isn't the absolute best choice. This is why I plan my dinner at 9am.

It has to do with what might spoil. What I could then use the next day. What would be good leftovers. What I might eat later in the week.

We were discussing OCD last night. It to me includes cleanliness, but I think I may be a little food OCD. Standing in front of a spread of appetizers and munchies at a party, I must scan the whole table, weigh the possibilities, feel the air for a breeze, check my taste buds, and then choose ever so carefully.
-That cheese is too big
-That chip will break in that dip...need a smaller chip.
-Brocolli floret is too big, carrot too boring, grape tomato too squishy
-That dip is cold now
-If I dip that stick-lookin-thing into that sauce, I'll want more sauce and that stick is too long. I can't double dip! I just met these people!
-In order to get to that piece of pineapple, I must move that large watermellon piece.
-This thing has too much dough, not enough filling
-Beer and Brownies?? I'm not ready for sweets.
-Pigs in a blanket? Really?
-Bowl Of Nuts...I call those "Poop Nuts". Just like the "Poop Mints" in the bowl at restaurants.

All of these thoughts, in the time it takes to wiggle my fingers as I'm trying to choose. Impressive. Insane.

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