Friday, June 29, 2007

Foods that are SCARY

Growing up, my reoccurring nightmare involved a crocodile. More specifically, the crocodile that chased Ernie in the song on the Sesame Street Album. In this song, he goes over a mountain, because "You can't go under it. Can't go through it! Gotta climb over it." And then he goes through a spooky swamp (because you can't go over or around it), where low and behold, a crocodile is lurking and then we had to RUN! Run with the speed of a gazelle!! Run or we will be EATEN! Go go go over the mountain and the grass and whatever obstacle the twisted sadist decided to put into this children's song!

I would only have the nightmare of the crocodile chasing me after drinking hot chocolate before bed. Because generally, hot chocolate was not permitted in the evenings by my mother because, "If you drink it you will have nightmares." So why, did occasionally, I get this nectar of the gods (I like to think Buddha is a Hot Chocolate Lover)? I have no idea. But indeed, it would cause nightmares.

Last night I discovered another nightmare inducing food. Similar to how after eating the Boneless Teriyaki Wings from Buffalo Wild Wings you sleep dreaming only of drinking endless amounts of water, eating Level 4 Chicken Tikka Masala from Amul India causes dreams of a Female Wellness camp that encourages wrestling matches amongst the girls. And there were colorful painted faces and costumes. One of the ladies had this interesting blue feathery outfit, with blue eye make-up.

Now how is this a nightmare? Because of my wrestling match. Oh I was good. I was dominating in my match (note: nothing sexy about mud, or grease, or bikinis). Because as many know, I am indeed freakishly strong. But I got bored and just wanted it to end, so I jumped and yanked the legs of my partner, causing her to fall out of the ring and onto her neck area. I, because I jumped, was then looking down on her. And it was SAD! I really wounded this person! And I woke up, so horrified that I had caused damage to someone! So bizarre. I was shaken.

I prefer the crocodile dream. No more Indian food after 9.

The End.

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